My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
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You scored higher than 68% on Tastefulness |
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You scored higher than 88% on Originality |
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You scored higher than 94% on Deliberateness |
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You scored higher than 52% on Sexiness |
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My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: | You scored higher than 35% on Tastefulness | | You scored higher than 88% on Originality | | You scored higher than 90% on Deliberateness | | You scored higher than 69% on Sexiness |
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| My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: |
list
THREE TIMES***
3 NEEDLES*
DAY BREAK
BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN*
A HISTORY OF VIOLENCE
LIE WITH ME
SA-KWA
LITTLE FISH
THE PROPOSITION *
PROOF*
TRISTRAM SHANDY: A COCK AND BULL STORY**
SYMPATHY FOR LADY VENGEANCE ****REVOLVER
BUBBLE
PRIDE AND PREJUDICE*
DAVE CHAPPELLE'S BLOCK PARTY
BEOWULF & GRENDEL
TIM BURTON'S CORPSE BRIDE***
Yesterday***
Paradise Now*****
* = must watch
spoke to a girl who was leaving today...about The Boss. and how he's really a big softie despite all his posturing. his badass demeanour just a foil for his mushy insides. and she mentioned she could actually see him crying over his girl.
she asked me what kind of guys actually cry over say...girlfriends leaving them.
and I said "guys who are relaly in touch with their emotions like Dude and Pecs, or guys who try and push it all down. So that when it rises up to the surface, it comes back in a wave"
she laughed a little, and I realised that hey yeah...my boss is soft. really generously soft. Like one of those huge giant alsations that look scary...especially when they bound up to you and look like they'd chew you up and spit you out...but when you scratch them behind the ears, they just lean into you and stare at you adoringly. only his emotional repression only allows him to say "awwww" and give you a hug instead.
me and my molasses
office politics sucks. more so when you really don't like the actions which are pretty unforgiveable really...but at the same time, you feel so sorry for the poor damaged soul underneath.
listening to: underworld born slippy. george michael you've changed.
At this particular time you are feeling the results of extreme stress and you are seeking a 'way out' but you are pushing too hard. Obviously you need peace, tranquility and contentment. Your temperament is such that you are hoping, unrealistically perhaps, that your desires will shortly be fulfilled (even if at this time you are not quite sure what those true aspirations may be!).
You don't really give in. You follow your beliefs and ideals to the bitter end. You are the personification of stubbornness and whatever may transpire, right or wrong, you refuse to compromise or make concessions.
You are confined and trapped in a distressing or uncomfortable situation and seeking some way out. Whatever you seem to do to resolve the problem hasn't worked out. Fortunately you are able to gain some aspect of relief from someone close to you.
Recent disappointment has led you to become truly introverted. You are becoming suspicious of everybody and consequently you now feel that you are unable to trust anybody. Unfortunately it would appear that you are curbing your natural enthusiasm and imaginative nature - perhaps this is because you are fearful that you may become over enthused and find that you could possibly be carried away by wishful thinking. You are keeping your distance to see whether attitudes towards you are sincere - but this watchfulness could easily develop into suspicion and distrust.
You are inclined to be too trusting and you feel that you need to be on your guard against the possibility that your endeavors and actions may be misunderstood. Too often you have been taken advantage of and you have been mentally abused. Now you are seeking a relationship which can provide peace of mind, where you can be yourself and not have the need to put on a false front.
yep. one more.
You have always longed for tenderness, love and a sensitivity of feeling into which you would like to blend. You are a very gentle warm person and responsive to 'All things bright and beautiful'. This personifies a caring person, a person who 'needs' and indeed 'needs to be needed'.
You are a leader and possibly at this time in a position of authority, but you are experiencing problems. You are not quite sure how to handle the present situation.
Matters are not progressing as well as you would have hoped and you are having to make concessions - but you still believe that your goals are realistic it's just that people can't seem to see your point of view. You know what you want but you'll only accept suggestions under duress.
As of late, you have been experiencing untold stress and this is a result of continuous frustration. You haven't been taking care of all your physical needs and it's beginning to show. It would seem that you have a need to find someone to whom you can really relate - someone perhaps whose standards are as high as your own. You want to be different - to be individualistic - to stand out from the common herd. Your inherent control of your sensual instincts is restricting your ability to give yourself to open up freely but this being on your own, being lonely, often makes you feel the need to give up some of your strict standards to surrender to the general flow - to be like everyone else; a part of the herd. Deep down you regard such instincts as weaknesses to be overcome. You would like to be loved or admired for yourself alone. You demand recognition and tender loving care.
You have so many ideas that you would like to revitalize but you need to realize a stable and peaceful condition to do so. Once you can free yourself from all the aggravation and tension around you, you will make strides that may amaze you. You will not be prevented from achieving all the things you so desire.
I guess I do feel better today
the second one, maybe I am being too harsh, but I personally think I've reached the last straw. and I'm a camel. and I don't believe that we have anything to SHARE anymore. We're just...at such different stages in our lives.
At this time you are really feeling quite exhausted by all the conflict and quarrelling that is going on about you and you are looking for some sort of protection from this state of affairs. Ideally you are seeking a peaceful condition and a tranquil environment in which you can be afforded the chance to relax and recover.
You don't really give in. You follow your beliefs and ideals to the bitter end. You are the personification of stubbornness and whatever may transpire, right or wrong, you refuse to compromise or make concessions.
You are confined and trapped in a distressing or uncomfortable situation and seeking some way out. Whatever you seem to do to resolve the problem hasn't worked out. Fortunately you are able to gain some aspect of relief from someone close to you. Thanks SPam.
Recent disappointment has led you to become truly introverted. You are becoming suspicious of everybody and consequently you now feel that you are unable to trust anybody. Unfortunately it would appear that you are curbing your natural enthusiasm and imaginative nature - perhaps this is because you are fearful that you may become over enthused and find that you could possibly be carried away by wishful thinking. You are keeping your distance to see whether attitudes towards you are sincere - but this watchfulness could easily develop into suspicion and distrust.
In the past your trusting attitude has often been misunderstood and so you have needed to protect yourself against your tendency to be abused and taken advantage of. As a consequence you possibly adopt an aloof and critical attitude and you are only willing to let your guard down once sincerity and trustworthiness can be assured.
***
You are the sort of person that needs a peaceful environment. You seek release from stress and freedom from conflicts and disagreements, of which you seem to have had more than your fair share. But you are taking pains to control the situation by proceeding cautiously and you are right in doing so as you are a very sensitive person.
Which ever way you turn you feel that you are being utterly thwarted. There is considerable conflict in the air but you will stick to your beliefs and not be deterred in endeavouring to attain your objectives.
Although you are, deep down, a very caring person, you are very particular in the choice of friends and indeed very demanding at times. You can be most quarrelsome and controversial and it is because of this argumentative trait you can at times explode into open conflict - conflict with even those you may care for and love. It is because of this inherent argumentative streak in you that may have resulted in broken hopes and dreams.
Whatever has caused the situation, you just don't seem to be able to sustain or maintain relationships as you would wish to. What you really seek is to be able to develop a relationship with someone with whom you can truly share: Love, Serenity, Peace and Quiet. But you are a very demanding person and it is your nature that leads to disquiet and discord: you are like the tide, flotsam and jetsam... One minute you experience 'highs' and a few moments later 'lows'. This obviously will introduce discord into any relationship and with this demanding attitude - the ideal state you desire is unable to develop.
Despite the urge to gratify your natural desires, you impose a considerable self-restraint on your instincts in the belief that this demonstrates your superiority and raises you above the common herd. You are extremely critical of everything that is presently going on around you and you find it difficult to listen to or to take advice from anyone. You enjoy the original, the ingenious and the subtle.
You would like to be respected and valued for yourself and this can only be achieved from within a close and harmonious relationship.
now for me to say something about what I think
I feel like SHITE.
I can't describe it. I just feel like SHITE. like wrist-slittingly shite. like I haven't felt in a long time.
I'm just cranky, and grumpy. and all I want to do is be LEFT ALONE.
just let me go hole up in a cavern somwhere, curl up in an oversized couch with a book, blast some music, and leave me like that, in my own private bliss. a few days.
but nooooooooooooo. the world won't leave me alone.
I just am not in the mood for emotional people. clingy, angry, spiteful people.
sure I'm being a narccissistic callous bitch. But all I'm asking for is a little time out. gawd. just because YOU can't be alone.
see what I mean? that above statement was totally unwarranted.
bah. I'm going to curl up and read for a few minutes. a few minutes of reprieve before life drop kicks me.
***
I don't know where I'm going to find it, but all I want is a hug. A physical hug. no questions asked about WHY. Who, how, what, when, WHATEVER. I just want a hug. no questions.
part 2
But but but, I really do want to just go away and recuperate ALONE for a week. ALONE. no lonely-and-need-company business. People sap me. they really do.
***
At this time you are feeling 'uptight' and you are urgently in need of rest and relaxation; but perhaps even more than that you need to overcome that feeling that you have been 'hard done by' and treated with a complete lack of consideration.
Maybe you have, but whatever may have been the cause of your inherent anxiety, you regard the situation as intolerable. You are, however, sufficiently competent to turn that situation around - you have overcome similar problems in the past, and really this one isn't too different.
You are looking for excitement and stimulation and you are ready to try anything - but be careful not to take too many risks.
You lack confidence and that is a great pity because deep down you are indeed a warm caring person. This lack of confidence is making you wary of being drawn into any open discussion or conflict and so you feel as if you should let matters lie and leave well alone. But there may be a pleasant surprise in store for you. You are beginning to grow and very soon - sooner than you believed possible - this warm loving new you will be available for all to see and to appreciate.
You are pretending that the situation around you doesn't matter, but the effort of trying to conceal your emotions and anxieties is resulting in untold stress. The existing situation is disagreeable. You feel unwanted and lonely and you would really like to associate with someone whose ideals are as high as your own.
You want to be above the standard of mediocrity and this need to be needed and that need to need has almost become an obsession. You are trying to magnify the need into a compelling urge. You would really like to tell the world how great you are but no, you are holding back because you feel that your peers may treat you with contempt.
This is a great pity because you have in fact a unique quality of character, but the continual restraint that you impose on yourself makes you suppress this need for others and you pretend you don't really care. You treat those who criticise you with contempt. However, to be honest, beneath this assumption of indifference you really long for the approval and esteem of others.
You would like to be respected and valued for yourself and this can only be achieved from within a close and harmonious relationship.
cologenics today. (yes I feel like shite)
Enough is enough - you feel frustrated and rejected. You are fighting back and the going is tough. It would be just wonderful if you could be left in peace.
You are a leader and possibly at this time in a position of authority, but you are experiencing problems. You are not quite sure how to handle the present situation.
oh yes. Many people will consider you egotistical and full of your own self importance. On the surface you could well give this impression and perhaps the reason for this complacent attitude is because at times you indeed have that 'short fuse' and are quick to take offense.
does callous count? You pretend that you are a carefree individual and that nothing really bothers you - that you are so
self-sufficient that whatever problems beset you they simply flow off you as water flows off a ducks back. You are experiencing considerable stress, trying to conceal yourself from the rest of the world. In actual fact - deep down, you are not at all happy. You feel lonely and you need someone with whom you can 'Let your hair down' and share your hopes, dreams and high standards. You are imposing unnecessary self restraint on yourself. You would like to demonstrate the unique quality of your character to all and sundry.
At this time you don't particularly like yourself. Everything that you have tried to do seems to have gone wrong. This makes you feel that there is no point in trying to start again. Apart from being
stressed and tense, you are angry with yourself and have un-admitted self-contempt.Your refusal to admit that
you and you alone is the basic cause of your problems leads to you adopting a headstrong and defiant attitude. If you take stock of yourself, smile a little and let go, everything will turn out OK. Have you not heard of the cliché 'smile and the world smiles with you - cry and you cry alone!'?
Thing is I know all this. I'm just fucking....annoyed. and I know I am the cause, which is WHY I am so annoyed. does this even make sense? maybe I'll do a second one now just to see what it says.
not allowed to sleep
I'm waiting for my laundry to dry in the dryer, and my hair to dry in this weather.
So I shall make pointless notes about stuff today. Usual boring shit.
-For the 1st time in a long while, I was in a supremely good mood. Such a good mood I was back on100% Natural Highs. Just add fresh air and water!
-Woke up FAR TOO EARLY.
-made balance class. EXTREMELY PLEASED. (did not weigh myself, think that would've added a damper)
-bought Anasi Boys, and have Mao's Last Dancer AND Neil Stephenson to read.
-Littered the day with notes to self. --- Including this one- GO TO CITY LIBRARY- books include Terry Pratchet, Salman Rushdie's Satanic Verses, Good Omens, 'Tis, Unbearable Lightness of Being, Yeats, Keats. oh. and do sheets tomorrow. pack money for work. buy eggplant.
-did laundry. mmmmmm. fresh laundry.
-Clean Apartment Day is this Friday. I am NOT TALKING to anyone ALL FRIDAY. One day off in 4 weeks. I am turning recluse for one day (till Jap buffet at night)
-ph and I really like the new Visa Richard Gere commercial
