quod me nutrit me destruit

brit guy came in last night with friends for chocolate. He looks ALOT better without his glasses.

posted by sway @ 1:19 AM

internship is pretty ok. I'm attached to a gorgeous almost non-human creature, and partially attached to a Brit guy who cuts his own hair (badly) with a rather strange and boyish sense of humour.

Today, I found out that Brit guy couldn't even say the words "racist" within earshot, because well, that's taboo. He's also slightly racist himself because, well, he thought racist jokes were embarrassing, but I think he secretly enjoyed listening to it...and if they're anything like Russell Peters, then I really don't care. He reminds me a little of Jazz Player. Slightly uneasy in his own skin, a little strange, quiet-seeming until you get to know him and all hell breaks loose.

I find it hilarious that people try and tiptoe round the race issue when it's literally in your face. My skin is yellow, my eyes are single-lidded and slant upwards, and I have dark hair...as opposed to the caucasians with your pinkish white skin with double eyelids and prominent nose bridges. And your point is that you're not supposed to notice all that?

Hmmm. I should introduce him to my other job. Where we sing songs that go "We're all....just a little bit racist" call people "White Trash" (and she embraces it because she coined the term) and make fun of each other's accents. HMMMMM. I mean, sure. Stef R was a little freaked out when we called the other Stef "Asian Stef" for a while...but hey. We at work believe in making race jokes, comments and statments so long as they don't harm or promote negative untrue stereotypes. (as opposed to positive true stereotypes. *cough cough*)

posted by sway @ 11:34 PM

incoherence

I definitely need sleep. I tried to post this email and almost succeeded.

b: you know the solution to your problem is very simple. You just need to fly back to the right side of the globe.

I was just thinking about travelling while staring at my song playlist just now.

80s sappy love songs make me think of Singapore late at night.
Pavarotti's O Holy Night makes me think of Las Vegas at X'mas...which reminds me of Jay Chou
***deleted tons of other songs/genres***
and Dave Seaman just makes me feel like raving.

but I'm so fucking old I'll prolly just turn up at the rave, and sit at the side, watching everyone else bounce blow-up dolls around. Nevertheless, I'm considering flying up to Sydney for New Years to rave by the beach that HOME nightclub is organising or sometime around there...just pop into HOME again and squeeze in one more rave, even if I just sit and watch. I think it's mainly drum and bass. If anyone's interested in that, sake at the fish market *cough cough*, black sesame icecream from passionflower and other such stuff....

Have some old friends up there, and one of them is getting married sometime soonish and Sydney is one of her stops in her inter-continental wedding (3 of them- Singapore, Sydney, England). And she's the biggest rave head I've EVER met. Ever.

She even dreams of popping and keeps 2 pills in her glove compartment at all times. The woman is fantastic.

Such a pity there's no absinthe at Kitten. I mean, the door's fluro green and there's no absinthe? How can that be?????????/


*****
yeah. I definitely need more sleep.

posted by sway @ 11:49 PM

loving natalie merchant after such a long hiatus.

posted by sway @ 10:01 PM

80s love songs.

OK. I think I might enable comments for this one...

I am having a huge wave of nostalgia for 80s late night love songs. I mean suicidal. Not the happy happy Cherish by Madonna, or Africa, or Down Under, or Mr Wendel.

I mean, Johnny Hates Jazz Me and My Foolish Heart, Turn Back the Clock, That desert moon song, Breathe- Hands to Heaven, Cutting Crew I Just Died in Your Arms, Expose- I'll Never Get Over You, Wilson Phillips. Natalie Merchant. That kind of thing.

Alternatively, I could settle for Mr Bojangles.

But yes, favourite late night 80s slush. The mushier the better. List. If anyone even reads this.

posted by sway @ 9:52 PM 1 comments

bills, bills, bills

I just calculated that my bills, NOT including mum's help, comes up to $966. (and $98 for my tram ticket)

And this month I didn't have to pay...$200 of it. And I have $300 in the bank at the moment.

WTF. I'm sure hoping this month's 7 day weeks are offsetting my 5 day weeks from now on.

(I see about $1400 per month thereabouts not including weekend surcharge)

I'm already making excuses up about why I won't be joining colleagues for lunch.

posted by sway @ 9:59 PM 0 comments

I feel

recently I feel like I just want to run for the hills. Literally.

Just look for a picturesque lake somewhere (switzerland, maine, my knight granduncle's place...somwhere) plop a cottage there with all bills paid for and central heating. And just go in and NEVER COME OUT except for walks along the lake or the occassional coffee with the local convenience store clerk.

I asked a few people recently if they'd ever had the same impetuous, and only one said yes because the rest felt they still needed people. Or at least the bustle around them, whether they wanted to be part of it another question altogether.

I mean, I know I would never last in a cottage like that. Every night I'd be waiting for a disembered voice to ring me, Sadako to crawl out of the TV, Gremlins to take over my computer, and Freddy Kruger to creep in through the window with Jason armed with a chainsaw. If all else failed, I knew I would fall head-first into a washing machine so I could turn myself into a spiral. Or get lost in the woods where the Blair Witch would find me, having recently moved into the neighbourhood along with the Headless Horseman and the Big Bad Wolf.

But the urge to just disappear doesn't go away. Just vanish, with no note, no nothing. and then turn up again when I feel like it. No questions asked.

Maybe I just need to attend my body balance class. Haven't been in over a week.

Listening to: Danny Elfman imitating Oompa Loompas in my head.

posted by sway @ 8:12 PM 0 comments

love and marriage

I just found out one of my super-cousins just got married. She's the SAME AGE AS ME.

I can hear my parents already.

and the worst part is, *I* feel like I should be holding down the $60K per year job, pushing out the 2.4 kids and owning a golden retriever.

Oh. My. God.

Damn super-cousins.

posted by sway @ 9:49 PM 0 comments

rainbows

I remember standing at the lookout point on top of Table Mountain in South Africa, peering over the edge and over the safety railings. It was a sunny day, but there were snatches of tiny wispy clouds pooling just below my feet, disguising the steep drop down the mountain.

Among sparse vegetation and clouds were tiny rainbows, at least three or four of them, forming bridges between the clouds. They weren't full arcs, more like slices of pie but they held my full attention as I stared at so many rainbows popping up among white fluffy clouds.

"In the old days, mountaineers used to throw themselves into the clouds and rainbows" my father spoke from behind me.

"why?" I turned around.

"Because up here, there's less oxygen, and it can cause a drunken effect. They were so enthralled with the clouds and rainbows they thought they were in paradise and threw themselves off because it was so beautiful."

I laughed. My dad, the source of random information.

I remember my facination with clouds soon evaporated as quickly as fog when I discovered fogs were clouds, technically intangible in the way I'd imagined it.

but rainbows.

I remember stories about pots of gold and leprechauns, and it facinated me even when I used to chase after them as a child, how they would disappear, or seem to receede from where I thought it was, like how the moon always followed me.

I remember Judy Garland singing about bluebirds and rainbows, and when I saw my first full arc in Australia one rainy day, I was transfixed for minutes, staring at the full rainbow in the distance.

When a faint second arc started to appear, I was so amused I wanted to take a picture.

***

Yesterday was a rainy day, full of wind and rain and grey sky. I love my rain, my cold winds, and I take comfort that the clouds hang so many thousand metres closer to the ground, hang so low I want to reach out and touch it.

But in that nervous knot within my tummy, I wasn't in the mood for watching raindrops on the taxi window.

But as the taxi took a turn towards the Fitzroy Gardens, I saw a full, bright rainbow materialise above me. It was enormous, and it was a complete rainbow stretching above my head, so close I had to tilt my head to see the highest point.

So big and bright I could count all seven bands of the rainbow.

Violet indigo blue green yellow orange red. I could even see how indigo and blue seemed to blend, as did orange and red.

It was the first time I'd seen one so close, so bright and so huge. and I realised how grey the day was, when there was technicolour. Like spot-colouring.

and weirdly enough, I felt lighter, happier, as the rainbow followed me all the way up Bridge Road before dropping me off just before we turned into the driveway, waving its goodbye in its fading arc, till only one leg was still seen.

posted by sway @ 10:36 AM 0 comments