quod me nutrit me destruit

I feel

recently I feel like I just want to run for the hills. Literally.

Just look for a picturesque lake somewhere (switzerland, maine, my knight granduncle's place...somwhere) plop a cottage there with all bills paid for and central heating. And just go in and NEVER COME OUT except for walks along the lake or the occassional coffee with the local convenience store clerk.

I asked a few people recently if they'd ever had the same impetuous, and only one said yes because the rest felt they still needed people. Or at least the bustle around them, whether they wanted to be part of it another question altogether.

I mean, I know I would never last in a cottage like that. Every night I'd be waiting for a disembered voice to ring me, Sadako to crawl out of the TV, Gremlins to take over my computer, and Freddy Kruger to creep in through the window with Jason armed with a chainsaw. If all else failed, I knew I would fall head-first into a washing machine so I could turn myself into a spiral. Or get lost in the woods where the Blair Witch would find me, having recently moved into the neighbourhood along with the Headless Horseman and the Big Bad Wolf.

But the urge to just disappear doesn't go away. Just vanish, with no note, no nothing. and then turn up again when I feel like it. No questions asked.

Maybe I just need to attend my body balance class. Haven't been in over a week.

Listening to: Danny Elfman imitating Oompa Loompas in my head.

posted by sway @ 8:12 PM